There will be multiple times in life and in relationships where we do not agree on something. We first should spend some contemplative time with ourselves to fully understand our own perspective. We may ask ourselves: are we being defensive due to past experiences which have nothing to do with this situation or person; are we lugging around old baggage; are we creating a story to justify our reaction; or are we coming from a negative emotional state?
I love the following example Wayne Dyer once shared on this topic. He asked if you squeeze a lemon do you get orange juice – if you squeeze a grapefruit do you get apple juice? Of course, the answer is when you squeeze something you get whatever is inside. This is important to always keep in mind when you are upset about something. Are you appropriately responding after careful thought or are you reacting based upon your current internal condition?
After reviewing our own thoughts and behavior from a clear comprehensive perspective, we are ready to respond appropriately. Now we can engage in a conversation with the other person. Our thoughts are ready to be articulated clearly.
It is also critical that we listen carefully without judgement to the perspective of others. Within this exchange, we may find we want to apologize for something. We may also determine we need to forgive ourselves and the other person for feelings that have been hurt due to the misunderstanding.
It takes a lot of maturity for both people to be able to discuss each other’s thoughts and feeling and then to go on to forgive one another for mistakes neither person meant to make.
We are only human in this aspect of trial and error. It’s important to remember that from failure we learn what works and what doesn’t work in a relationship. This is the beginning of building a solid foundation together.
Remember, we are all human and we all make mistakes. When you forgive yourself for your own mistakes you can then forgive others more easily.
When we come from a place of forgiveness and love, turning disagreements into agreements is much easier to obtain.
I’d like to end this podcast with one of my favorite prayers:
A Prayer for Forgiveness
If I have harmed anyone in any way either knowingly or unknowingly through my own confusions, I ask their forgiveness.
If anyone has harmed me in any way either knowingly or unknowingly through their own confusions, I forgive them.
And if there is a situation where I am not yet ready to forgive, I forgive myself for that.
If someone is not ready to forgive me, I forgive them for that.
For all the ways that I harm myself, negate, doubt, belittle myself, judge or be unkind to myself through my own confusions, I forgive myself.
I forgive myself for any action or words spoken that have not been from a place of love.
I forgive others that have taken action or spoke words that were not from a place of love.
I forgive myself and others.
One love everyone, go and spread your love.